Daily Dose Of Funny

Top Ten Excuses You Can Give Your Readers if You Haven&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;#039;t Updated Your Blog in a Long Time

Juygh Fruyt — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:10:31 +0000

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Monday Motivational #4 - Fail

The Funny Man — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 02:20:14 +0000

Original images from the FAIL Blog.

Monday Motivational #3 - Children

The Funny Man — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 01:16:28 +0000

Original photo by zanzibar.

10 Things To Do With All Those Post-Its You Have Laying Around

The Funny Man — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 03:24:26 +0000

10. Make Sure Nobody Takes Your Seat at Those Busy Weddings

9. Fight Off The Effects of Alzheimer’s Disease

8. Make You Super Expensive Jaguar Look Like a Paper Car

7. Play Your Favorite Old Games

6. Create Your Own Band

5. Send a Friendly Message to You Beloved Co-workers

4. Hide The Smart Ass Message on Your Shirt From Your Parents

3. Play a Game of Tic-Tac-Toe

2. Remind Yourself To Paint the Walls

and…

1. Avoid Doing Actual Work

Photos by, respectively: Scott Ableman, PJBert_2332, Scott Ableman, sirmikester, Siddhi, Jeroen Latour, fuzzcat, adactio, videocrab, Michael Cory and RobertFrancis.

Monday Motivational #2 - Fun

The Funny Man — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:33:28 +0000

Original photo by 油姬

Monday Motivational #1 - The Sun is Beautiful

The Funny Man — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 04:52:19 +0000

Original photo by code poet.

A Blast From the Past: 5 Signs You Play Too Much Quake (That’s Quake 1 You Whippersnappers)

The Funny Man — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 18:16:04 +0000

Remember the good time of Quake 1? The excitement with being able to look up? The Rocket Launcher fueled death matches? The mods? The maps? And, of course, the silly videos:

Ahhh, good times.

Two Guys Bump Into Each Other in the Middle of a Busy Street

The Funny Man — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:33:24 +0000

- I’m sorry, but don’t I know you?
- Ahmmm, no I don’t think you do.
- I’m pretty sure I remember you from somewhere…
- Well, I have one of those common faces, people think they know me all the time.
- Oh MY GOD! I remember now!
- Crap.
- Jesus Christ, that’s you isn’t it?
- *sigh*
- The hair, the beard, I don’t know how it took me so long to figure out.
- Look, I’m kind of in a hurry, I have to be some place in a few minutes…
- I’m your number one fan!
- Really? You’re a churchgoing man?
- Well, I haven’t really been to a church since my wedding, but it’s not about a place, it’s about having Jesus in your heart isn’t it?
- Funny how many of my “number one fans” think that.
- I can’t believe I’m actually talking to Jesus. Man, I haven’t heard about you in a while. What have you been doing ever since the whole resurrection thing?
- Well, you know, this and that. I took some time for myself, in order to figure out what *I* wanted to do with my life, you know? I mean, I accomplished quite a lot in the first 30 years or so, but I felt I was just following a script my father wrote for me. I felt like I didn’t know who Jesus really was, you know? So I took some time to do some soul searching.
- Oh, I totally know what you mean. After college I spent a few months in Europe, just screwing around, before coming back to my fiancee and settling down.
- How nice…
- But are you done with the soul searching?
- Well, yeah. Now I’m focused on writing. I recently wrote this book “The Gospel According to Jesus”, which brings my own direct perspective to what happened, with no intermediaries muddling the message.
- Really? Haven’t heard about it.
- Well, it was published by this small company and they didn’t have much money to invest in marketing. But that is okay, we are going to let word of mouth spread around, you know? Let it become one of those publishing phenomenons that comes out of nowhere.
- I see
- Yeah, we are trying to get a spot on Oprah to move things along. She hasn’t answered any of our calls yet, but we are very hopeful.
- Good luck with that.
- Thanks. You can buy the book on the Internet.
- Oh really? That’s great.
- So you’ll buy it?
- Gee, I would love that. But I have been really busy at work lately, so I’m not sure when I will ever be able to get around to reading a book.
- Oh, sure, I see.
- Is it coming out on tape? Because that would so much easier.
- No, we don’t have any plans for that right now.
- Well, keep me posted. But changing the subject slightly, you know what I love? Your miracles. The one where you made wine out of water is my favorite.
- Really? The one were I made wine for a bunch of drunk people? You prefer that one to me walking on water, or curing the lepers, or feeding thousands?
- Well, yeah. Those other ones were great too, but, you know…
- Um hum.
- As a matter of fact, I happen to have some water with me right now and, well, I’m having a bad day, and I could really use a little “miracle” right now.
- Ok, look, I did that once, and I regret it to this day. I’m not doing it again.
- O come on. It will take you half a second.
- I said no.
- Come on! Just a little wine to help me get through the day. It won’t hurt anybody.
- Saying come on over and over won’t change my mind.
- Don’t be a party pooper! Just half a bottle will be enough!
- Ok, that’s it, I’m going away now, have a good day sir.
- Jerk.
- What? Did I hear that right? Did you just call your LORD AND SAVIOR Jesus FUCKING Christ a jerk? Because I won’t make you wine? That’s it, now you really got me pissed. You want a miracle? Here is a miracle. I just gave you leper. And it’s not the normal kind of leper either, It’s super powered JESUS LEPER!
- What?!
- You heard me mother fucker, now fuck off and die.
- ASSHOLE!
- Yeah, God loves you too, jackass.

And in Other News, Hell Just Froze Over…

The Funny Man — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 05:23:55 +0000

You know, I was afraid this might be a boring blowout, so I was hoping for a tight game. But they weren’t supposed to actually win goddammit.

If I may be serious for just a sec, congrats to the Giants. Amazing game.

Political Stickers - Thinking Outside the Box

The Funny Man — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 05:12:13 +0000

Super Tuesday is right around the corner, so it’s time for that final push before a massive amount of voters go to the polls. And you know what the candidates need in order to make that push? Yes, that’s right, new bumper stickers.

In my position as equal opportunity political consultant I have come up with a few possibilities for each candidate.

And let’s not forget the dark horse of the 2008 election.

The campaigns should feel free to use any one of these. I won’t even charge anything.

The last sticker was a ~~rip-off~~ tasteful homage to this, which, in fact, inspired this whole post.