Just One Small Problem
The Funny Man September 20th, 2007
[Jimmy Joe] - So, what do you think of our city so far?
[Bob] - It’s a pretty great city! I mean, the people are nice, it’s calm, the food is good and inexpensive. I think this may be the one, the city where I settle down.
[Jimmy Joe] - That’s great to hear.
[Bob] - Yeah. There is just one thing…
[Jimmy Joe] - yes?
[Bob] - See, I’ve only been here for a day, and I have already seen seven people be attacked by giant tigers. Is that, you know, common?
[Jimmy Joe] - Oh yeah, the tigers. yes, I’m afraid it is rather common.
[Bob] - Really?
[Jimmy Joe] - Yes. You see, the founder of our town just happened to be a mad scientist who wanted to conquer to world. Apparently his plan involved an army of giant, genetically modified tigers. So we had, like, a big breeding ground of giant tigers next to the city. Eventually the tigers managed to break free and turned against the scientist, killing him. But they never really left the city.
[Bob] - That’s a shame.
[Jimmy Joe] - Yeah. But the city is completely great otherwise.
[Bob] - It is. But isn’t there something you can do about it? Something one can do in order to not be attacked?
[Jimmy Joe] - No, they are pretty mean tigers. But really, this is just a small nuisance. No city is perfect.
[Bob] - But, how small a nuisance is it? If I was to move here, what would the chances be of me getting attacked?
[Jimmy Joe] - Oh, you’ll definitely be attacked. And probably killed. The life expectancy here is of two years.
[Bob] - Two years?
[Jimmy Joe] - Yes. In fact pretty much everybody that lives here came from other towns. The tigers pretty much kill all the babies. Easy prey and all. But this is just a measure of how great a city it is, we can always find new people to move in!
[Bob] - Sure, it is a great place to live. But I’m not sure that makes up for only living two years.
[Jimmy Joe] - Oh, that’s just an average. Many people live longer than that. Of course there are always the ones that die the first week, but the point is, you can’t say much from simply seeing the two years stat.
[Bob] - Yeah, but one can say enough. [gets up] Thank you for showing me around, but I don’t think I will be moving to your fair ….
[Jimmy Joe] - Look out! Behind you!
[Bob] - What? Is there somethOH MY GOD! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
[Jimmy Joe] - Out silly tiger!! Leave Bob alone!
[Bob] - AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhH!!!!!!!!!AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It’s EATING MY FACE!!!
[Jimmy Joe] - Shoo, Shoo
[Bob] - AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh………………..
[Jimmy Joe] - Bob? Bob? Oh no. That is just too bad. Only a day. It will bring the stats down.
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