Daily Dose Of Funny

The Funny Man July 23rd, 2007

“Sexy” Artificial Trees

Because everybody knows that only real trees are really sexy.

The “Ice Cream” Station

The cops didn’t like them calling it The Crack Cocaine Station.

“Christmas” Party

By which they mean drinking beer until you are unconscious instead of spending time with your family party.

Bierbar “Ass”

Hehe, he said “ass”.

“Quality” Nuts and Fruits

Just be glad that the quotation marks aren’t around fruits or nuts.

Check out the return of our “spices”

You don’t want to know.

The item you have been waiting for has “arrived”

And by “arrived” we mean we had it for weeks but didn’t bother telling you before.

“Quality” at “1/3″ of the Cost

You know, as much quality as your are ever going to get for this price. And by 1/3 they really mean more like 1/2. But it’s still cheap!

“Lean” Beef, “Tender” Chicken, “Fresh” Noodles

Really, lean, tender and fresh are all a matter of perspective…

Beware of “Dog”

It’s really a cat. But a very mean spirited one! He could totally scratch your eyes out!

Faith Baptist “Church”

Hey, I’m not the one saying it.

“Sorry” but there will be no pumpkin soup served today!

He is not really sorry, but his boss forced him to write it.

“Sorry” Credit Machine “Not” Working

This one actually makes sense. “Not” working means it’s working, but people are obviously too stupid to use it. “Sorry” means he is not sorry at all.

Generally when people say ice they mean it’s made of water. But really, it doesn’t have to be.

For a Special Daughter and “Son”

Well, I married your father so I guess I’m your “mother”.

Just because they are free doesn’t mean you have to use them around every. Single. Word.

• Pretty Pictures