Daily Dose Of Funny

The Funny Man July 23rd, 2007

Dear Dr. Topps,

I’m a young, nice guy. I have a good job and all my friends tell me I’m funny and personable. And yet I haven’t had much luck in the dating department.
I think that has to do in large part with the fact that I’m very self-aware about the way I look. My nose is somewhat on the large side and I’m a little too skinny. When I meet a girl I like, I’m constantly wondering what she thinks of my appearance, and that keeps me from just being myself. What should I do to boost my own confidence?

Dear uglo,

Have you considered dating blind chicks?

Sure, they aren’t so good with the whole putting on make-up thing and they don’t always dress themselves well, but some of them are still quite cute. And they won’t be immediately frightened by your enormous nose.

Just one thing: although it’s true that blind chicks can, to some extent, “see” with their hands, you shouldn’t under any circumstances try to cut their hands off. This is unlikely to lead to any positive result.

• Insights