Daily Dose Of Funny

The Funny Man May 7th, 2007

“The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant.”
- Jane Sellman

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
- Milton Berle

“Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.”
- Aristotle

“Mothers of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young”
- Anonymous

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.â€?
- Phyllis Diller quotes

“A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.”
- Peter De Vries

“It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.”
- Barbara Kingsolver

“My mother always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procastrinate. I said: ‘just wait!’”
- Judy Tenuta

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
- Richard Jeni

“My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.”
- Bob Monkhouse

• Quotes