Daily Dose Of Funny

The Funny Man April 19th, 2007

1. Cows give me milk, pigs give me bacon, eggs give me eggs.
2. Look at me, but be careful because I’m ugly.
3. I would tell you all the secrets of the world. But I don’t know any.
4. The three most important things a person should know are: How to write and how to count.
5. Decaffeinated coffee is much like snow, they both lack caffeine.
6. Can you please turn up the volume of your TV? I can’t hear anything.
7. Ok, that’s too much, take it down a notch.
8. With time, one discovers that pears are more sensitive than tomatoes.
9. My mom always told me to respect older people. My son tell me to respect younger people. My twin brother is a complete imbecile.
10. Don’t look ugly in the morning, wake up at noon.
11. Why do clowns have white faces? Because they are dead!!!
12. When I don’t go to the mountain, the mountain also doesn’t come to me.
13. I don’t even like mountains.
14. In the autumn the leaves fall. In the summer they rise.
15. If we didn’t lose our teeth there would be less teeth in the world.
16. Never laugh at a tree, I may need it not to laugh at you in the future.
17. Everything that goes up knows how to fly.
18. The Internet looks amazing, but that is actually a photo of a friend of hers.
19. I think I’m a strong contender for the Literature Nobel prize.
20. All the insects should be placed in big insect prisons where they could live happily for all eternity. Or where they could live unhappily for all eternity, they both work for me.

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