Drinking - Opinions From People Who Know What They Are Talking About
The Funny Man April 15th, 2007
[After being warned that drinking is a slow form of suicide]
“And who is in a hurry?”
Robert Benchley
“Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth.”
George Burns
“Once, during the dry law, I was forced to go days with just food and water.”
“Who was the jerk that stole the cork from my lunch?”
“My willpower is so strong, I never drink anything harder than gin before breakfast.”
“I gargle with Scotch several times a day and I haven’t had a cold in years.”
W. C. Fields
[When asked if he had slept well]
“No. I think I went to bed a little sober yesterday.”
Dashiell Hammet
“I drink to make the other people more interesting.”
George Jean Nathan
“Be careful with hard liquor. It can make you shoot at tax collectors … and miss.”
Lazarus Long
“I don’t trust camels or anyone else that can go a week without drinking.”
“Bartender, I want what the man in the floor is drinking.”
“Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change.”
Anonymous
Other Funny Stuff
20 Signs You Have Been Drinking Too Much (Classic Joke)
Two Guys Bump Into Each Other in the Middle of a Busy Street
Apology Letters … From God
